Whispers of Love: Childhood Echoes

Is saying "I love you" easy for you—or does it feel complicated? Let’s dive into the heart of connection.

In this episode of One Harmonic Whole, Kim and Jill explore how childhood experiences shape our ability to express love. They unpack family traditions around saying “love you” versus “I love you,” discuss how beliefs influence emotional expression, and reflect on the ways we learn (or struggle) to verbalize affection as adults.

Key takeaways:
- Our upbringing impacts how freely we say or show love.
- Both lack and excess of expressed affection can affect self-love.
- Love is constant—what changes is how we share or perceive it.

Join us for a thoughtful conversation that invites reflection—and laughter! Share your own stories in the comments and tune in now to connect with your inner harmony.

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Hello, lovely listeners, and good morning, Kim. Good morning, Jill. Morning, everyone. And we're back with One Harmonic Whole mini podcast. It's our Friday. Friday. That was kind of quiet when you said it's just. It's One Harmonic Whole, which is W H O L E. Yesterday I saw it somewhere where something got transcribed for us, Kim, and it was One Harmonical. Also a very good name, but just happens to not be the name of what we're doing.

Yep. Sometimes I talk fast and I'm humble. I will own that. Yep, we all do. So what was brought up in my forefront today was the word love and how there are times where I will say love you to people, and I truly do love those people. Like, I feel like I am sending true, heartfelt energy of love to these people. And then I have a family member who would prefer me and herself and others to say I love you. And that's always sat with me as I reserve that I love you to say. My husband and my children, like my very, very closest, even primarily it goes directly to my husband. And then a lot of times my kids, it varies.

Do I love you? I really try to do I love you? Sometimes love you come out. But as Jill and I were talking, this has to do a lot with how we're raised and, and how were we told I love you or we were told I love you? Were we not told that anybody loved us? Right. The way we were raised, that. The power of beliefs and experience, that combination.

So imagine little Kim, right? She's doing her stuff. She's like four. That's what I mean by little Kim. She's like, for doing her stuff. Okay. When you're children who haven't been substantially messed with. Okay. Because even a four year old could have had a lot going on. But let's just say, you know, there's been stuff going on, but Kim is still pretty untouched and just in her, in who she was born to be.

You're doling out love everywhere you go, but you also like not doling out I love you or love yous. It's just love. And then life happens, training happens, you know, cultural beliefs, family beliefs, generational beliefs, and you start like attuning yourself to those things. And then you start, you, Kim, all of us listeners here, we start to find our pattern with it.

How do I want to do this? And we tend to use that in particular childhood experience as the guiding, like the guiding light of how to figure this out.

If you had loads and loads and loads of people telling you all the Time. And I love you. I love you. And hugging you and around you. It's probably pretty easy through that to say, all right, I'm gonna dole out, if you will. I'm air quoting dole out.

Like, hand out I love yous to everyone.

But yeah, if you're a person who hadn't heard a lot, even though you're this four year old and it's just like beaming out of you, eventually you get trained into how to behave, behaviors and beliefs.

Who should Kim be?

Yep.

It happens so quick.

And if there was a moment as I was growing up and having children of my own that I did realize,

I personally didn't get a whole lot of I love yous or even love you's growing up.

And I personally struggled to even say love you to my children.

And they literally helped that aspect of myself to express the word love.

Like,

I felt inside unconditional love.

But

I could not express it out verbally.

And they were the ones who helped get that out.

Wonderful.

And I'd be curious to hear other people's stories.

So if you're listening to this,

whether it's on Facebook,

whether it's on YouTube,

wherever it is,

there's always a spot where you can make a comment.

Yeah.

I would love to hear some of your experiences.

Like,

when you're growing up,

were you told I love you?

Were you told love you?

And what do you do now as an adult?

Yeah.

Is it easy to say I love you or not?

Yeah,

it's just something really interesting to just remember,

recall.

I was just going back in my head to when I was a little kid.

And,

you know,

the thing,

Kim,

that I've come up with is,

like,

go back into that childhood experiences.

I knew

I was loved.

There's love all around.

It wasn't,

like,

overwhelming.

It was in the sense of,

like,

we didn't have...

I didn't grow up in a,

like,

you know,

love,

I love you or love

you household.

That was like,

all the time.

It was kind of like,

of course

I love

you.

You know

I

love

you.

And

I did know

that

I was loved.

I didn't always though experience like an expression of it as you called where there was lots of like come here give me a hug

I

love

you so much

It's...

It was there but it was the actual expression of it as I recall It was kind of minimal if you will Like it was there when say someone like my mom or dad realized our child is having a hard time she needs something

I think
I have
to remind her,
she's loved.
It came up kind of in that kind of a situation.
Yes.
So then it goes to the extreme.
Okay.
Oh,
my goodness.
This is.
So then some people would view that as trauma based.
I
was not loved.
Nobody loved me.
Even though your parents probably truly did absolutely
love
you,
they just didn't say it out loud.
And then some people are taking these.
Things
to the extreme
and they'll go the opposite way.
So their children,
they're almost smothering them.
And it,
and it gets to be where they're like,
oh,
I
love
them,
I have
to protect them.
I,
and like,
oh,
I
love
you,
I
love
you,
I
love
you.
And like almost too much in that person's energy where the person doesn't know how to then
love themselves either.
You're creating the same type of problem,
just in a different format.
Yeah.
And the thing that I'd like to share with you,
Kim,
that is so true.
It's like,
you know,
whether it's a lack of
love,
if you will,
or an over enmeshment of
love,
you know,
where there isn't a separation,
say between a parent and a child or that's how much
love has been put on,
that they actually kind of enmesh and come together.
Yep.
Those are like the extremes of an experience.
But in that,
in that like scale there that we just highlighted or shared,
what came to me,
Kim,
is that I had heard a few weeks ago that there is nothing called an unconditional
love.
Really?
Really.
When you go at it,
there's
love.
And it's how on that scale we,
as I've used the word earlier,
dole it out to people or dish it out to people.
Yep.
So when you said about kids,
you said about kids who didn't feel loved and parents who probably did
love them,
they just couldn't express it.
Deep,
deep,
deep in their heart.
A parent loves almost all parents.
I would say there's probably an occasional where one doesn't.
But almost all parents do
love their children.
It's how much of that is being shown.
I see like a circle.
Okay.
And the circle getting really,
really,
really,
really tiny for those who have the
love in their heart but they have zero capacity to express it.
And then I see this circle get increase as someone's able to express and share it with another person.
It's like as you see a dot,
like in the heart,
it's growing contracting or expanding.

Yes.

Love doesn't change how it's expressed or shared or how we're trained to do that or whatever is what changes?

Yep.

Yep.

There's no...

There is...

Love doesn't contain... 
I use the word judgment a lot.

Love does not contain judgment.

So as that was going in and going out,

that expansion of the word

love,

the feeling

of

the word

love,

you're saying

that

all

I could get

was

all

in there

as just

love.

There's no other.

There's nothing else than just

love.

So why are

you trying

to twist it?

Why are

you trying

to spin it around

like,

oh,

this person really doesn't

love me

because they didn't say,

"I

love

you?" Yeah.

Time to reevaluate yourself on that one.

Yeah.

Some reflection on our experiences with it,

what belief we're saying it is.

It was this.

Are

you sure?

Yeah,

it's just a...

It's something...

to go in with...

a lightness,

a lightness of heart,

you know,

keep your mind from being too serious or a lightness of mind ...

and,

you know,

just look at it ...

and come at it from different angles ...

and playful.

Kim,

you're,

like,

so good at doing that.

You've got that process ...

of looking at things from different perspectives ...

and just being so curious about it ...

like you've got it mastered.

You were earlier this week talking about something else ...

but it would apply here in this process ...

of assigning it ... Color ... You know?

Right.

So then what color is it?

And what does it look like?

And maybe what does it ... You know ... tactile ... What's the ... What's the feel when ...

You touch ... You know ... The Love?

So in that regard ...

just like some kid ...

some little kid who didn't feel loved ...

You know ... The Love ...
when they look at it ...
might feel really cold ...
dark ...
You know ...
small ...
Someone who has loved ...
a lot ...
it's just like ...
It's this golden ...
You know ...
almost white on the edge ...
Like hearing angels sing ...

Oh ...

Talking about laughter ...

Sorry ...

to change ...

the subject ...

Yesterday ...

was all about laughing ...

Yeah ...

And ...

I will tell ...

You ...

I did not utilize ...

that skill ...

as often as ...

I should because ...

My cheeks do not hurt today ...

I'm a little ...

A little judgy towards myself on that one ...

That It did not follow through ...

But hey today's new day ...

and I'm gonna try laugh little bit more too so...

Perfect...

Laugh with the Love today...

Yep...

Oh...

Love It...

Love Love Love's In The Air...

We're Going To Take This Love All The Way Through The Weekend...

Yeah...

Fantastic...

Well Thank You Everyone For Listening...

Thank You So Much Kim...

Thank You Jill...

Thank You Everyone...

All Right Enjoy Your Weekends...

Until Next Time...